Homesick!!

It has been almost three weeks I work here, so far away from my family, from my house. And it has been a month living so far away from my safe box.

Well, I am working in one of English course in Cibubur, Bekasi. Now for the first time of my life, I live by my on in one of the simple boarding house. I never left my house for more than a week. And now, in my 22 years old, I have to try something so new. And I start here.

It is not easy for me. Something new never be easy. I used to gather with my family every day. I cannot cook any meal. Well, I was not independet. There was my mom preparing everything for me.

And now?

Every morning I have to prepare food by myself unless I cannot eat. I prepare everything I need without anyone helping me. Every night I have to wash my clothes, wash dishes, and cleans my bedroom. Nevertheless, it is okay for me. I can do that, and leaving in boarding house is something I want somehow!!

But the problem is when I wake up in the morning. I feel like ‘where am I?’, why do I live in the strange place with many strangers around me.

I feel blank. Noone is around me, strangers are around. Then I will miss my mother, my father, my little sisters, I miss my bedroom, I miss my colleagues, I miss the cold I used to feel in the morning, I miss the breeze, and well, I miss my safe box!

Then I cannot be relaxed, my heart beats fast, and I am confused what I’m gonna do.

I realize that I AM HOMESICK!!

Nowadays I cannot post any blogs. It is not because I have no story to share, but sometimes I lose passion to write, so busy with my own thoughts. I’m thinking about the steps I take now whether it is the best or not, whether it is worth-doing or not, whether I can do it or now, so many thoughts.

Sometimes, after my mom calls, I cry without even knowing why I have to cry. I cry easily.

Thus, I want to get over all the useless thoughts I have to move on here, to have a new brand day with full of spirit, to soar as high as possible, to reach every dream I have set up, to do everything I want!!

Well, I hope so. I think homesick is normal, and now my challenge is to deal with homesick stuff.