suck is me

Telling about many wishes, I do have many many wishes that are waiting to achieve. Telling about many goals, I have goals in every morning I start facing the day, every time I open my eyes and see the sun. Telling about everything beautiful in every dreams, makes me so enthusiastic. But, when a little problem hit me, I can not stand any longer, I can not hold on, then I fall badly on the ground. That’s me, suck is me!!

I hate myself, when I have a wish, but I can not struggle to get it. I hate myself, when goal has already stood in front, but I cannot catch it. It doesn’t mean that I can’t, but actually I don’t have a strong willing to achieve, to get, to catch. I am suck.

Really, I feel that I’m suck. I’m not that good, I’m not that innocent. I have to do many many betterment in daily life. I need strict rule to make me obey. I need someone to force me, because my body will not move without forcing, without pushing.

Please everybody, take me out from the box, and push me out of the box. I need something that can make me as enthusiastic as I should be.

Where is my spirit?seems like vaporize and disappear on the air.

Realize that the only thing that can change my life is my brain, my prayers, and my willing. Nothing else. But to have those three are not as simple as I think, because in the reality, those things are extremely difficult to have. I’m not that powerful, sometimes I am so fragile, can not stand any longer around the problems.

What must I do to make my fear, hesitation, all suck things that can destroy my process toward the goal flee far far away from me??

What??WHAT??